I’m a bit awed. My British friend in Norway just sent his Canadian friend (me) in the US(for now) an invite to a gallery exhibit in Mumbai. When did this become normal?

Things still left to do...

- Get my Blackberry unlocked
- Actually pack and store my winter and household stuff
- Fit everything I want to take into three suitcases
- Arrange Salvation Army pick up (3rd time this year..I'm such a pack rat)
- Realize that I'm actually leaving
- Buy a new iPod
- Pick a place for a farewell party
- Buy a mosquito net
- Get reading material for the journey
- Dinners, lunches, coffees, phone calls, drinks
- Buy more vitamins
- Stop thinking about it so much
- Pack Hippo
- Laundry, lots of it
- Get more body butter, lots of it
- Buy socks

What's making me happy right now...

Two perfect weekends in a row. The return of the gong show and being all caught up with Ames. Friends who have known me longer than Ames. Wine at 4pm. Being the old Asha again. Practically living in dresses. My favorite rule: Don't buy it unless you can wear it in India. Not having any other rules. Sharing in the successes of friends. No more guilt. Being the favorite masi, just for a moment. ,,Dirty,, quotations. Pomp, pomp, pomp, pomp...POMP up de jame!

The best weekend ever

Its Sunday and I'm exhausted. This has been the best weekend ever. At least that I can remember. Dinner with friends, football & beer with roommates, a night out that ends at 4am with pizza. Book club movie and coffee that turns into a full blown meal. It was perfect. Not for any special reason, just because it reinforced the premise that I'm okay, I didn't think I'd get here so fast.

It was first time that a small part of me wishes I wasn't moving. Which is oddly the best feeling ever. I want to take a snapshot of right now and pause NY so that everyone is the same when I get back, in the same places in their lives. Instead I know that its all going to be different, especially me.

तद्दुष्करं नास्ति

तत्कर्तुं शक्यते

विश्वसिहि

At our service

I’ve mentioned in the past that seeing soldiers/people in uniform always takes my breath away. They often seem younger than me, are more polite than the average Canadian (which says a lot), stand up straight and look everyone in the eye. I see little things, airport staff sending them directly to the first class security and/or boarding line while quietly saying matter of fact thank yous, children ogling at the uniforms, the looks and nods given to them by those that I think must be veterans.

I always wonder where they are going, have they been abroad yet, are they going home, is someone going to be waiting for them on the other side, what it is really like, and most importantly I want to ask why. I have so many questions but never have the guts to ask, instead I just smile and nod and walk by. I’m such a wimp in so many ways that become plainly obvious in these situations.

I’m at the Houston Airport. I notice that there are service “people” everywhere. Not just the usual army fatigues but the Air Force seems to be here as well. I go into the book store and stop at the non fiction table full of books about the war, the administration, terror. We keep reaching for the same books one after the other, first he defers to me and then me to him. My suitcase and his duffel bag bump as we change move around the table. We both giggle nervously like strangers do when they’ve had random interactions.

How I long to read one of these books and discuss it with him, with someone who has chosen a path so different than mine, who hasn’t given up on his country to make it somewhere else, who has purpose, however unconventional it appears to me and the others in my circle.

I’m still so torn about this time in the world; I hate complaining about it but feel so lost. I know how I feel and which position I support but don’t feel like I am speaking loud enough, don’t feel like I am speaking at all. The memories of the best times of my life parallel some of the worst moments in my lifetime’s history. My children will be ashamed of me. Thankfully I have some time to make it up to them.